


... And Roses Suit You So

by LadyDeb



Series: Themes and Variations [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a Gwen-less Torchwood, seriously serious AU, urban explorers likely cause Torchwood serious headaches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDeb/pseuds/LadyDeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to 'A Slightly More Perfect World,' in which twenty-two year old Esther Drummond's first trip with an urban exploring group in Cardiff leads her to Torchwood and Captain Jack Harkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of All The Tunnels in the World

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly wasn’t planning to do anything more with the AU universe I created in A Slightly More Perfect World, but inspiration hit in a perfect storm. First, someone got the impression after reading the story that Esther was recruited to Torchwood when she was sixteen. As a result, I started musing about what would lead Jack to hire a young girl who just graduated from college. One of the programs I love to watch when it’s on is Cities of the Underworld. And Don Wildman’s guides in these episodes are often urban explorers. I got to thinking about what kinds of headaches urban explorers could cause Jack and Torchwood … and this story was the result.

Disclaimer:  Captain Jack Harkness, Dr. Owen Harper, Suzie Costello, Toshiko Sato, Alice and Steven Carter, and Esther Drummond do not belong to me … they belong to Russell T. Davies, the BBC, and Starz Studios.  Anyone else whom you don’t recognize belongs to me.

 

Part One

 

Of All the Tunnels in the World …

 

 

Cardiff, Wales

Early 2008

 

 

“Jack, we have a problem.”

Hearing that was _never_ a good start to your day.  For that matter, neither was waking up to a cold bed and no one to cuddle with (but why stop with just cuddling).  Still, Captain Jack Harkness adjusted his braces on his shoulders, draped his greatcoat over one arm, and left his office to join his second in command, Suzie Costello, who was staring at something on the computer.  In front of her, Toshiko Sato’s fingers danced lightly across the keyboard and Jack inquired, “All right, my lovely ladies, what seems to be the problem and how can I fix it?”  Suzie looked over her shoulder at him, rolled her eyes, and returned her attention to the screen in front of Tosh.

The young tech replied, her eyes never leaving the screen in front of her, “I’ve got three urban explorers heading into the sewers … no, make that four.”  Urban explorers in the sewers?  Oh, that couldn’t end well.  Especially if they chose one of the sewers favored by a family of Weevils … but that, no doubt, was why they informed Jack.  Tosh continued, “I’ve lost track of them, but from what I can tell, they were heading into one of the sewers that the Weevils prefer.”  _Damn_.  Definitely not good.  After what happened earlier in the month, with three uni students meeting a very grisly fate at the hands of Weevils while carrying out a dare, Jack preferred to be pro-active.

“All right, I’m on my way.  Have Owen and Ianto meet me there,” Jack replied, shrugging into his greatcoat.  The doctor and administrator were returning from their monthly visit to Flat Holm.  Jack’s hand closed around the bottle of Retcon that he kept in the pocket of his greatcoat.  He hoped he would have need of the dosage, hoped he would have survivors at the end.  The captain made his way to the Torchwood SUV.  In spite of himself, his daughter Alice talked him into removing the Torchwood name from the side of the SUV.  _Leave the red lights and sirens, Dad_ , she told him, _but this is supposed to be a secret organization, not an open secret_.  Torchwood had been an open secret for years, but he acceded to his daughter’s wishes.

As Tosh directed him toward the tunnel in question, Jack was torn between admiring the guts of the urban explorers and being exasperated by that same courage.  They weren’t breaking any laws, but they were taking their lives into their own hands, and complicating Jack’s life.  Then again, they were human beings, and Jack was accustomed to people making it harder for him to protect them.   Even worse, their insatiable curiosity was on par with Jack’s, and that drove their explorations.  People like these urban explorers were the reason humanity reached the stars … assuming they lived that long

At the mouth of the tunnel, he found Ianto and Owen, both geared up.  Ianto noticed the once-over Jack gave him, the immortal noting the suit that the young man was wearing this morning, and Ianto rolled his eyes in fond exasperation.  Well, what did he expect?  Ianto was up and dressed before Jack even woke up this morning!  However, the captain said only, “According to Tosh, there are four urban explorers who decided to explore a tunnel that a family of Weevils use as their home.  Tosh, do you have an ID on any of our intrepid explorers as of yet?”  His voice was laced with a combination of exasperation and irony.  Not unlike the expressions he saw on Ianto and Owen’s faces … although, he also saw longing in Owen’s eyes.  Before the loss of his Katie, the young couple was part of an urban explorer group in London.  Jack told him on more than one occasion that he could pick it up again, but the doctor shook his head, saying that part of his life was over.  Jack thought it was a mistake to let that go, but Owen was stubborn, and liable to be contrary if Jack pushed too much.

“Only one, Jack … I ran our facial recognition software, and then matched it up against other CCTV across the UK.  I found a match … a recent arrival at Heathrow.  One of our urban explorers is a young American woman named ‘Esther Drummond.’  She arrived from Washington DC on Wednesday afternoon.  I’m trying to find more information about her,” Tosh replied.  Jack bit back a curse.  Things just got far more complicated.  He really didn’t want to make a call to the Crown because a group of urban explorers decided to take a newbie (who was a foreign national) into the tunnels.  It wasn’t an international incident, but that still wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation to have.

Owen rolled his eyes once he relayed this information to the other two men, muttering under his breath about ‘ _bloody Yanks_.’  Ianto observed, “True enough, Owen … but I would imagine the other explorers are from the UK or Cardiff, since they’re the guides.”  Owen responded with a glower that troubled Ianto not at all.  Nor did the doctor’s muttered imprecations about ‘smart-arse tea-boys.’  The young Welshman merely smiled as the trio entered the tunnel.  His smile grew more … interesting when he caught Jack’s eye.  _Later_ , Jack promised himself, _later_.

Naturally, once they cleared the mouth of the tunnel, a scream echoed around them.  It was decidedly masculine in tone, but there was a second scream several minutes later … and that definitely belonged to a woman.  Owen swore, Ianto’s eyes narrowed, and Jack withdrew his Webley as the three men headed in the direction of the screams … because, oh yes, there were more screams after those first two.  Some were pained screams, while others were of terror.  There were times when Jack _really_ hated being right!

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

On a scale of one to ten, this ranked a fifteen in ‘ _incredibly stupid things I’ve done_.’  And unfortunately, ‘ _it seemed like a good idea at the time_ ’ wouldn’t make her any less dead … a possibility that grew ever more likely with each passing moment.  Twenty-two year old Esther Drummond was pressed against the wall of the tunnel, watching in horror as … something … tore apart the men and woman she was quickly becoming friends with.

She’d arrived in the United Kingdom three days earlier, exhausted but excited.  Since her graduation from college back in May, Esther had been working and saving up for this trip.  It was what kept her going insane when dealing with rude (read: abusive) customers, ignorant co-workers, and a sister who was even more fragile after her husband walked out on her and their two daughters.  Esther took on the additional responsibility of taking care of her nieces, legally changing their last name to ‘Drummond,’ since Sarah didn’t want anything to do with her ex-husband, and making sure Sarah got out of bed each morning.

The other thing that helped keep Esther sane during the last several months was her urban exploring group.  When she told the head of the group about her upcoming trip to the UK, the older woman tracked down a list of urbex groups in the cities she would be visiting.  Unbeknownst to Esther, the group leader emailed her itinerary and information to the Cardiff group, since she planned to start in Cardiff and work her way north … and it was they who met her at Heathrow.  Evidently, they were told to take care of her while she was in the UK, and that included meeting her in the baggage claim of Heathrow and seeing her to her hotel.  Early this morning, a knock at her room woke her up and Esther opened the door to find her new friends awaiting her and dressed for exploring.  They chose this set of tunnels to ease Esther into urbex in the United Kingdom, during the daylight hours … and now, they were dead.

The last victim was thrown to one side, and the … thing … stared at Esther.  The girl raised her chin, trying oh so hard not to cry.  A man’s voice said (in an American accent), “Now, I know she looks good enough to eat, but I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”  The thing growled at him, and the man added soothingly, “Let her come to me, and I’ll make sure that this set of tunnels is closed off.  They didn’t know you were here.  Just let the girl come to me, we’ll take the bodies of her friends, and they won’t bother you again.”

Amazingly enough, the thing (which was dressed in coveralls) backed away, and the man said, his voice very gentle, “I need you to edge over to me very, very slowly.  No sudden moves, I don’t want the Weevil startled.”  Weevil?  Is that what this was called?  And why was it dressed in coveralls, of all things?  However, she would worry about that later.  For now, Esther began slowly, oh so slowly, edging away from the Weevil, never taking her eyes from it.  And for the rest of her life, Esther would wonder what startled it.  She couldn’t remember doing anything different, but one moment, she was moving slowly and carefully in the direction of the man’s voice … and the next, the Weevil growled, lunging for her. 

Things happened incredibly fast after that.  The man grasped her hand, pulling her to safety behind him.  And then the Weevil was upon him.  Esther screamed as someone (or something) else grabbed her, and a decidedly human voice whispered, “Shhh!”  Esther’s scream froze in her throat, and somewhat louder, the man added, “OI!  Tea-boy, now!”  There was a soft ‘pop’ to her right, and the Weevil dropped.  And so did the man who initially rescued Esther.  She was turned around and came face to face with a young man … maybe ten years older than herself, with a thin face and dark hair.  He said softly, “Miss Drummond, I know you’re scared, but you’ve done great so far.  Can you stay with our boss while we load up the Weevil?”

Esther bobbed her head, dazed, and the man smiled, adding, “Good girl.  Let’s go, Tea-boy.”  The American girl dropped to her knees, for the first time seeing the face of the man who sacrificed his life to save her.  He looked to be in his late thirties or very, very early forties … dark-haired … dressed in dark trousers, a light blue shirt, and suspenders.  Something Esther would have found curious under ordinary circumstances, but right now, right at this moment, she was too devastated, too shocked, forced too far out of her comfort zone.

She lifted his head into her lap, stroking his hair tenderly and whispering, “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  I wish I could make things right again.”  But she couldn’t, could she?  A gentle hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she looked up to see a second young man … even younger than the one who finished pulling her to safety.  She blinked away tears and said hoarsely, “I’m so sorry about your friend.  I swear we didn’t know that these tunnels had … these Weevils living in them.”  He smiled at her gently, before handing her a thermos, which she accepted distractedly.

“We know, Miss Drummond.  Just stay with Jack … here’s some coffee to warm you up, and we’ll be back shortly,” the young man replied.  The strange part was, he seemed to be waiting for her to drink it, as he stood in front of her patiently.  Numbly, Esther tipped the thermos to her lips … and stopped, swallowing hard.  Perhaps it was her jangled nerves … or maybe it was the memory of her college roommate, weeping in her arms after she realized she’d been raped at a party where someone slipped a date rape drug into her drink.  The men rescued her from the Weevil, there was no reason for them to hurt her … but she didn’t know them.

And so, she smiled at him, saying, “Very good coffee … thank you.”  He smiled back quietly, and turned to help the other man.  While they were struggling with the Weevil’s body, Esther dumped the coffee onto the ground, well away from the dead body of her rescuer.  And then, a moment later, she received the third shock of the night (day … whatever) when her rescuer suddenly took a deep breath and bolted upright from her lap.  To her eternal mortification, Esther actually squeaked and rolled away, allowing the man’s head to drop onto the ground.

The man (he was dead and now he was alive and how was that possible?) smiled at her despite that, saying, “Captain Jack Harkness … pleased to meet you.”  Esther stared at him in shock, and Captain Jack Harkness looked over her shoulder, adding, “Ianto, Owen … have you taken care of this lovely young lady?”  A significant look passed between the men, and Esther’s blood ran cold when she realized that her instincts were right.  There was something in the coffee.  Her mind started to race, trying to figure out what she should do now

“They did … the coffee was excellent.  But … how did you know my name?” Esther gabbed, and winced when she heard how over-eager she sounded.  But none of the men looked suspicious.  Either that, or … No.  No, she had to calm down.  It was hard though.  She was twenty-two years old, in a country not her own, the group she was with were all dead at the hands of a Weevil (and she still didn’t know what that was), and she just saw a man who was dead come back to life.  She thought, a bit hysterically, that she was allowed to behave out of character.  Or something like that.

“We have access to that information,” was the rather unsatisfactory response.  Esther pursed her lips, but accepted the captain’s hand as she rose to her feet.  He continued, “That’s Owen … sorry, Dr. Owen Harper … and Ianto Jones.  As you can tell, he looks great in a suit.”  Ianto rolled his eyes, but smiled softly at Captain Harkness, and Esther quietly said good-bye to any hopes she might have briefly entertained.  It was a pity, too, because Captain Harkness was right.  Ianto Jones did look good in a suit.  And then she kicked herself for being so stupid, since the chances were good they planned to drug her. 

“I’m Esther Drummond … but you already knew that.  It’s nice to meet you all … thank you for saving my life.  What … what was that?  I know you called it a Weevil, but what is it?  It looks like an animal, but it’s dressed like a man,” Esther blurted out.  She didn’t give the three men a chance to answer her, continuing, “Why did it attack us?  Did we do something … I don’t remember anyone making a threatening move?” And that question continued to haunt her.  Why?  What did they do?  How could they have prevented this from happening?  What did she tell their families … did they even have families?

“You were in its home … and that was threat enough,” Captain Harkness replied, and Esther blinked back tears.  She had only to think of an incident when she was ten years old … on the morning of her tenth birthday in fact … when there was an intruder into their home.  Her father met that person with a loaded gun, standing protectively between him and his two daughters.  Oh God.  They hadn’t meant any harm, and now three people were dead!  Esther closed her eyes, trying very hard not to vomit as she thought about the morning’s events.  Captain Harkness continued, “As to what they are, where they’re from … we’re not sure.  And it won’t matter for much longer.”  Esther shuddered.  Yeah, she could imagine.

But it was at that point that the other two men began carrying the bodies of her former compatriots out of the tunnel, one by one.  Captain Harkness stepped in front of her, but Esther’s eyes followed the procession anyhow.  For the first time, she saw what was done to her fellow explorers, and her already stressed nerves snapped.  In the last thirty minutes, she’d seen them torn to pieces, nearly died herself, watched a dead man come back to life, and her mind decided, ‘ _I’ve had enough, thank you very much, that’s it_!’  Thus, her eyes rolled up into her head and she fainted dead away in the arms of Captain Jack Harkness. 

 

TWTWTWTWTW

 

He hated going to Flat Holm.  Oh, Owen didn’t enjoy it … none of them did, really.  But Ianto hated it with a white-hot passion.  Not just because it was a reminder of the effect the Rift had on ordinary people who were just going about their business … not just because of the family members who would never know what happened to these poor souls … and not even just because Flat Holm wasn’t a nice place.  No, what he hated most was the knowledge that Jack carried this burden alone for so many years.  It was imperfect, it was flawed, but it was still miles ahead of their fate before he took over.

He hated Flat Holm.  But he was also fiercely proud of his captain for creating that place.  Ianto Jones was an archivist in London before its fall.  He knew about Torchwood Cardiff, he knew about Torchwood’s past, and he knew things could have been far worse for the denizens of Flat Holm.  He already requisitioned a few hundred gallons of paint, because at the very least, the facility could use a touch-up.  He hated Flat Holm and what it stood for, but he couldn’t hate Jack.  No matter how he felt in those horrific hours and days after Lisa’s final death, he couldn’t hate Jack.  He wanted to … and he believed that he did, but the ones he hated most were himself and the Cybermen.  Maybe Yvonne Hartman as well.  But, just as was the case with Flat Holm, Jack was cleaning up the mess that someone else made.

And that was true now, as Jack carried the unconscious girl to the SUV … looking quite heroic as he did so.  Ianto saw the strain in his eyes, the lines of pain around his mouth, and knew that he wasn’t quite recovered from his most recent death.  Not that it would stop Jack any time soon.  Ianto wanted to be angry with the urban explorers, he wanted to be angry with the blonde girl, but in the end … it was a waste of time.  And they all had work to do.  Jack would take the girl back to her hotel, while Ianto and Owen took the dead bodies and the unconscious Weevil back to the Hub.  There, they would concoct a story for the three dead urban explorers and Owen would deal with the Weevil.

Once Jack returned to the Hub, with Esther Drummond safely back in her hotel and the last few hours of her memory missing, Ianto would take care of him.  Oh, Jack would tease him about leaving him so early this morning … it was rare when Ianto awoke before Jack did, especially since Jack slept very little.  Ianto still wasn’t sure if that was a feature of Jack’s immortality … or if the nightmares prevented him from sleeping properly.

When Ianto and Owen returned to the Hub, it was to find Jack already there, flirting outrageously with both Suzie and Tosh.  Suzie rolled her eyes, offering Ianto a rueful smile, while Tosh beamed.  Eventually, however, he returned to his office and only the slight slump to his shoulders demonstrated his exhaustion, frustration and grief.  Ianto quietly followed him, closing the door behind him as he asked softly, “Coffee, sir?”  Jack smiled up at him, the smile never quite reaching his eyes as he glanced down at his paperwork.

“That would be _very_ welcome.  You had a vial of your own in your pocket … Retcon, I mean,” Jack observed and Ianto nodded.  Yes, he’d taken to carrying a vial of Retcon in case it was necessary and Jack was … unable to administer the dose.  The captain went on, “How did you find things at Flat Holm … what do they need that they don’t already have?”  Ianto winced.  He always worried about Jack, but when the other man was this focused on work, rather than on flirting or making innuendos, he was even more worried.

Even so, he knew that Jack wouldn’t welcome Ianto fretting over him, so he replied, “For now, things are fine.  Owen and I worked out the logistics of air filtration when they are ready to paint and making sure that no one got sick, whether it was the staff or the residents.  It’ll be fine.  Everything will be fine, Jack.”  He was offered a half-smile in return, and Ianto tried to choose between offering comfort and returning when he had coffee.  A small grimace as Jack shifted his attention to another side of his desk decided him, and Ianto rounded the desk.  He put his hands on Jack’s shoulders, murmuring, “Lean back, that can wait a few minutes.”

It was telling to him that Jack simply leaned back, sighing quietly as Ianto began to massage the tense muscles, occasionally uttering a small gasp or groan when Ianto hit a particularly sore knot.  The young man kissed the top of Jack’s head as he continued the massage, and Jack began to talk.  Rarely did he speak about his past … given what he’d seen of it so far, he really couldn’t blame him.  And he wasn’t talking about his past now, either, saying instead, “I know you hate going to Flat Holm … it isn’t exactly one of my favorite places to be, either … but thank you for taking care of that today for me.”

“If it makes your job easier, I’m happy to do it, sir.  And for all of Owen’s complaints, he does feel the same.  There are worse things to be doing,” Ianto replied softly, shifting his hands to the nape of Jack’s neck.  And he would know, as he’d done far worse things while working for Torchwood.  They’d all done far worse working for Torchwood, including the man seated before him.  _Especially_ the man seated before him.  The cords of muscle were even tighter under his fingers, and Ianto kneaded away the tension.  He continued, still in that soft voice, “We’ll brief you later about what story we came up for the urban explorers … at least we were able to save one.”  Jack made a noise that was neither a moan or a groan or a grunt, but somehow, it was all three the same time, and again, Ianto kissed his hair.

“She’ll still have the survivor guilt to deal with, but at least she’ll be alive to have survivor guilt.  Oh, she won’t remember the events, but always in the back of her mind, she’ll think about how that could have been her.  If nothing else, she’ll think, ‘ _I could have been with them and died as well_.’  But it’s still better than dying like that … still better than having those memories … still better than all of the alternatives,” Jack replied, and then tipped his head back for a kiss.  Ianto obliged, pressing his lips to Jack’s, to the corners of his mouth, both cheeks, and his forehead.  He stopped the massage to wrap his arms around Jack from behind, closing his eyes.

He didn’t tell Jack that they were lucky to save even one (something Jack had to remind him of, on occasion).  He didn’t tell him that Esther Drummond was a strong girl and she would be fine.  He didn’t even tell him that he couldn’t save everyone.  He didn’t say any of those things, because Ianto didn’t believe in wasting his breath on things Jack already knew.  Instead, he simply held Jack, because that was probably what helped most.  Not pretty words, but actions. 

At last, Ianto pulled back and murmured, “I’ll go get you that coffee, sir.  And if you need me, I’ll be in the archives.  Whoever was in there last left an unholy mess.”  Jack actually laughed aloud at that … especially since he and Ianto were the last ones in there, and they weren’t working.  It was one of those rare moments when Ianto was able to get the drop on Jack, and he was still _extremely_ pleased with himself for that.  Ianto grinned and kissed Jack’s forehead, adding, “I’ll come back up in an hour to place the order for food, assuming Alice doesn’t bring us something herself.”

He was rewarded with a smile and a soft ‘ _thank you_ ,’ and Ianto took leave of his captain.  Suzie, Owen and Tosh were all in need of coffee as well, which he saw to before returning to the Archives.  As he told Jack, they left it in shambles, but Ianto couldn’t be too terribly annoyed.  Oh, he supposed he could have, but since he was the aggressor (this time), it would have been horribly hypocritical.  He couldn’t help lying … that was in the job description, regardless of the job, with Torchwood … but he tried to avoid being a hypocrite.  It took him very little time to actually straighten up the Archives … the remainder of the time was spent ensuring that everything was in its proper place.

At half eleven, he returned to the main part of the Hub.  Alice hadn’t arrived yet … and then Ianto remembered that she was with Steven’s class today.  Of course.  Shaking his head at his own forgetfulness, Ianto began getting orders from his teammates for lunch, before placing said order and retreating to the Information Centre.  There were brochures that needed to be replaced, and he made mental notes for that, as well as checking the stock on the other brochures.  There were few tourists today … mostly people who’d gotten turned around, and needed an assist in the right direction, something Ianto was happy to provide.

Aside from delivering lunch, Ianto didn’t get back down into the Hub until around three that afternoon.  Jack was on a call with UNIT; Suzie was updating their weapons database; Tosh was fine-tuning a new program she’d been working on; and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know what Owen was doing.   Of course, he’d find out soon enough.  He always did, and always took great delight in teasing the doctor when he learned what he needed to know.  Not that Owen just sat back and took it.  Oh no, Owen always had _something_ to say, even if it was to harass Ianto about his relationship (such as it was) with Jack.

Thus, he was in the main section of their underground lair (oh, he knew it was actually a base, but ‘lair’ sounded better), when Tosh called, “Jack, you should come see this.”  Ianto didn’t bother looking up from his own task (namely, the requisition forms), so he didn’t see Suzie rising to her feet and going to Tosh’s workstation.  He was only vaguely aware of the second in command muttering, ‘ _you have got to be kidding me_.’  There was the sound of boots on the ladder and Jack asking Tosh what she had.  Their tech said only, “Take a look, Jack.”  That did break into Ianto’s concentration, and he raised his head to say something … only to notice the dumb-founded look on Jack’s face.

“She … didn’t,” Jack said, staring at Tosh’s monitor.  By now _extremely_ curious about whatever triggered such a response in his teammates, Ianto rose to his feet and walked over to Tosh’s workstation to join the others.  And when he did, he could only stare in horror.  Jack asked, his mind following the exact same path as Ianto’s, “Tosh, is that the same tunnel, the same sewers?”  Ianto was trying desperately to figure out how this was possible.  Maybe …

“Exact same.  It may not be an issue … the press release gave the location of the attack, as well as the names and ages of the dead, so she may have decided to investigate personally,” Tosh replied.  That was a possibility.  Ianto hoped with every fiber of his being that was the case.  Because there at the mouth of the tunnel where her friends died that morning, was Esther Drummond.  Oh, her long blonde hair was mostly hidden by the baseball cap she was wearing, but it was most definitely her … returning to the scene of the crime.

 

TBC


	2. Siblings by Circumstance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second of three parts. As to the rest of the series, I’d like to write the stories of Owen’s bar fight and Suzie’s first meeting with Alice (to name just a few), but that’s going to depend on those characters. In this section, Esther sets out on a journey; Owen reflects on everything that’s happened; Suzie makes a suggestion; and Ianto considers the changing dynamic among the team.

She thought at first, when she woke up in her hotel room, that she’d dreamed the whole thing.  It was a reasonable assumption, wasn’t it?  After all … a man who didn’t stay dead, monsters who ran around like men and dressed like men (on second thought, maybe that wasn’t so surprising … most monsters were of human flesh, after all).  Still, it wasn’t so far-fetched to think that she dreamed going to the tunnels that morning; that she dreamed the assault against her new friends; that she dreamed Captain Jack Harkness and his two associates.   She was in the same nightgown she wore to bed the previous night, she was in bed … and then she saw the time.  It was a little past noon, and she never slept past seven, even when she was on vacation.  Esther checked her hiking boots (which were clean when she packed them in the United States) and nodded grimly.  Oh, it happened, all right, none of it was a dream, and now, she had to figure out what she did next.  _One step at a time, Esther_ , she told herself, _one step at a time_.

Her first priority was getting dressed.  For reasons she couldn’t quite put into words, Esther chose not to wear the clothes she had on that morning.  And really, did it matter?  She didn’t plan on burning them (with a college loan to pay off, she wasn’t throwing away money in any way), but she would wear different clothes this afternoon … a fresh pair of jeans, a t-shirt covered by a flannel shirt.  This time, her hair would be plaited into a French braid, covered by her ball cap, and she would be wearing her hiking boots.  After she cleaned them, of course.

It was while she was getting dressed that she realized she had to go back to the tunnels.  It wasn’t her intention to go inside, not after what happened to her friends this morning.  But she had to return, to say good-bye to them.  She owed them that and made a mental note to buy flowers on her way to the site.  And after she honored her friends, she had some research to do.  If she could prevent any more urban explorers from meeting the same fate as the Cardiff team did, she owed it to all three of them.  And that meant doing research on Captain Jack Harkness.

He didn’t stay dead.  Esther winced, remembering how she dropped his head and shoulders onto the ground when he woke up.  That couldn’t have felt very good.  Never mind that he died and came back to life, she was pretty sure it still hurt when his head hit the asphalt.  Even now, with all the other evidence, it was hard for her to imagine someone who couldn’t stay dead.  She wished she hadn’t seen that, and wondered if his two associates got into trouble for asking her to stay with him.  After a moment, she realized there was nothing else they could have done with her.  She couldn’t have stayed in the tunnel … they were dealing with the bodies of the others, to say nothing of the … what was it that Captain Harkness called it?  It was a Weevil?  There was no other place for Esther to wait.

By one fifteen, she was ready to go (again).  The previous night, the team leader Kevin gave her a map of their intended sites on their ‘tour.’  She just had to figure out which site it was.  That would be her project for the rest of the day … that, and finding a place to buy flowers for Kevin, Ceri, and Galen.  She tried not to think about the ( _very_ ) intriguing and equally attractive Captain Jack Harkness, because as well as being intriguing and attractive, he also scared the hell out of her.  Someone that intriguing and that attractive had to be incredibly dangerous. 

It took her a few hours to find the site where her friends died, and by then, her hand was starting to get cramped from holding the flowers so tightly.  Her legs were also getting tired, but that was forgotten when she reached her destination.  Esther swallowed hard, knowing that her friend’s bodies were no longer inside, but wanted them to know that she wouldn’t forget them.  She would probably spend the rest of her life wondering why she survived.  She shouldn’t have.  Even without the intervention of Captain Harkness and his associates, she should have died.  She whispered as she placed the flowers at the mouth of the tunnel, “I don’t know why I survived, and you guys died, but I promise … I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to live up to that.  I’ll make you guys proud of me, I swear to you.”

“You can start by living,” a familiar voice said and Esther turned to face Captain Jack Harkness once more.  And, once more, he was flanked by the two men from this morning, along with two women.  Esther thought a bit enviously that everyone who evidently worked for the man was, at the very least, attractive … and the two women were absolutely stunning.  She returned her eyes to the man in front of her, who said flatly, “You remember who I am … who we are.”  Esther couldn’t help herself … she raised her eyebrows at the man with a small smile.

“I had a memorable morning, and who could forget a gorgeous man in a greatcoat?” she responded.  The brunette snickered at that, and Esther smiled at her, saying, “Hi, I’m Esther Drummond.  I know the gentlemen, but I’m not sure about you ladies.”  The brunette (well, the taller brunette, since both ladies had dark hair) stepped around Jack ( _Captain Harkness, you haven’t earned the right to familiarity yet_ ) and Esther offered her hand.  The woman shook it warily, looking from Captain Harkness to Esther and back again.

“I’m Suzie Costello, and this is Toshiko Sato,” the woman said, obviously trying to figure out something.  Esther merely shook Miss Sato’s hand, smiling at her all the while.  When Miss Costello finally figured out what she wanted to say, it was a bit unexpected.  She asked, “How did you remember?”  How did … oh.  _Oh_.  Things started to fall into place, starting with the thermos which the youngest male (Ianto, right?) gave her that morning.  Esther wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh, cry, or scream.

She did none of them.  Instead, she replied calmly, “I didn’t drink the coffee.”  It was all she could do to keep from laughing at the looks of pure shock that crossed the faces of the five people in front of her.  Esther continued, “I don’t know any of you.  I don’t take drinks from people I don’t know.  My roommate was raped, because of a date rape drug that was put into her drink at a party.  I won’t make myself that vulnerable, no matter how gorgeous the man giving me the drink is.”  She conceded that there were certain situations where she might have accepted the drink, but this wasn’t one of them.

“Bloody hell,” Owen Harper muttered, glowering at Esther.  She merely smiled a little brighter, folding her arms over her chest, and the glower turned into a reluctant smile.  The doctor continued, “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”  Esther could only shrug and Dr. Harper added, “Well, Jack, what do we do about her?  Slipping her some Retcon won’t be easy … that’s what was in the coffee, and would have made you forget everything that happened, including us.  And we know, Jack, it’s bloody hard to forget you.”

Retcon.  They meant to make her forget, rather than hurt her.  It was an amnesia drug in the coffee, rather than a date rape drug.  Esther supposed she should have been relieved, but it made her angry instead.  They wanted her to forget the people who died when she lived, and she hissed, dropping her arms and putting her hands on her hips, “You wanted me to forget this morning?  Forget my friends?  How _dare_ you?  What gives you the right to play with my life, with my memories, that way?”

There wasn’t a hint of remorse in the captain’s blue eyes as he replied, “To protect my team, to protect you, to protect myself, to protect this city … I think all of those give me the right.”  Esther almost reeled back at his statement.  He was right.  She didn’t want to admit it, but he was right.  Her idealism, her idea of how the world _should_ be, just ran face first into the wall of what _was_.  He was absolutely right.  She thought about what would happen if the general population of Cardiff knew about the Weevils.  They could be used for sport (of course, at that point she had no clue they were already used for sport in the past), or they could be experimented on.  They wouldn’t be the only ones.  What would happen to someone who didn’t stay dead?

Toshiko Sato said gently, “It isn’t a perfect solution, Miss Drummond.  There have been times when we fought about it.  But it’s still better than the alternative.  Some people can’t live with the memories of what they’ve seen.”  Esther shuddered, because no matter how hard she tried to hold onto her idealism, it seeped out of her like sand grains through her fingers.  Her mind seized onto what Toshiko Sato said about the alternative, and … Miss Sato continued, her voice still gentle, “We try to avoid that alternative.  But not everyone does.”

“So … so what happens now?” Esther asked in a shaky voice, realizing what she’d stumbled into for the first time.  Really, could she do _anything_ right?  First, they’d stumbled into the Weevils’ home this morning; and now she realized that she’d placed herself in a very uncomfortable position.  She didn’t want to lose her memories … she didn’t want to lose her life … she didn’t want to lose her freedom.  And she didn’t want to put these people in danger.  She rubbed at her face, whispering, “I’m sorry.  I just wanted them to know that they wouldn’t be forgotten.  I only knew them for a few days, and they’re dead while I’m alive, and I can’t figure out why?  Why was I spared?”  And again that question that haunted her.  Why was she alive?

“That’s something you have to figure out for yourself, Esther Drummond,” Captain Harkness said, his voice impossibly gentle.  Esther gave a helpless little laugh, and he continued, “For now, come with us back to our base.  Owen’s right, giving you Retcon at this point would be counterproductive … you wouldn’t trust us with any drink or food we’d give you, and we have to make sure that we can trust you with our secrets.”  He extended his hand and Esther hesitantly took it.  What else could she do?  Things were careening out of control … something that was supposed to be a relaxing adventure in the UK while she figured out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life was turning into a tragedy.  But then, wasn’t that the way life worked?

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

He wasn’t happy about this. 

He wasn’t happy about this at _all_.  But he was pretty sure that none of them were happy about any of this.  Whether they were happy or not was irrelevant.  This was the situation, and they would have to figure out how to deal with it.  Besides, when all was said and done, he really didn’t see that Jack had any other choice.  He could have let her investigate and try to figure out what Torchwood was, and let her find the Hub on her own.  It would have led to the same conclusion … and besides, when she came back here, there was the risk of the blonde bird getting herself killed.  It would have been on her own pretty little head, but Jack would have blamed himself.  Owen was continuously amazed by Jack’s capacity for guilt, which seemed as limitless as his capacity for forgiveness.

It wasn’t that Jack wore a hair shirt and covered himself in ashes, but if you knew where and when to look, you could see the guilt and regret in his eyes.  Owen wasn’t entirely sure when he started looking at Jack, really looking at him, but he knew it was after the Valiant.  No.  No, he was lying to himself, because he knew _exactly_ when it started, when he bothered to look into Jack’s eyes.  It was on the Valiant, and Owen had to either look in his captain’s eyes, or watch the brutality the Master unleashed on Jack’s body.  And Owen knew, he _knew_ , that if he had to watch the abuse the Master dished out, he would have tried to kill the Master himself.  He would have ended up dead and unable to help anyone, and so he kept his eyes on Jack’s.  The doctor had no idea why Jack blamed himself, but he knew guilt when he saw it … and there were several lifetimes of guilt in his captain’s eyes.

When you worked in Torchwood, there were seldom pretty solutions, much less perfect ones.  Owen had no idea what this would end up being.  There were a few things you could count on, with regards to Torchwood:  a) that you probably wouldn’t live to see thirty-five, much less forty; b) that some days, you were lucky to save anyone; and c) it was a pretty good bet that your co-workers were just as broken/damaged as you were yourself.  In the wake of his betrayal of his captain and the rising of Abaddon, Owen had to come to terms with several things.  Everybody lost in some way … Alice’s mother kept her away from Jack for years and Alice grew up believing that her father didn’t love her; Ianto had a whole mess of issues, even before Canary Wharf; Tosh was whole until a few years earlier; and Suzie’s issues had issues.  That wasn’t taking into account Jack or Owen. 

And into this world, into their crazy, upside-down world, came Esther Drummond, a twenty-two year old college graduate.  At first glance, she was a wide-eyed naïve little girl with big dreams and idealism to match, the kind of person who Torchwood chewed up and spat out without mercy.  However, because she knew Jack would ask, Tosh did a little digging into the young woman’s life in her native United States.  With the information she uncovered, the picture became cloudier.  Esther Catriona Drummond was born in 1985, the second of two daughters.  Her mother died in 2003, shortly before Esther turned eighteen and graduated from high school, while her father died in 2001.  Her older sister Sarah was described as ‘fragile,’ which probably meant that it fell to Esther to take care of Sarah, and her two young daughters, especially since Sarah’s husband walked out on the family. 

She was tougher than she looked, and Owen kinda liked the kid, but that didn’t mean she belonged in Torchwood.  And Jack wasn’t suggesting that, but Owen wasn’t comfortable with bringing a civilian into the Hub, what all of that entailed.  And the girl was very quiet on the ride away from the tunnels, eyes darting around, never lingering on one person, except maybe Jack.  Then again, they were used to that.  Her eyes would settle on each of them, study them curiously, before flitting away to someone else.  Owen wasn’t sure if she feared one of them noticing the way she studied them, or if there was some other reason.

Jack opted to return to the Hub through the underground parking garage, something that made Owen wonder.  He was going for the mundane, rather than impressing her/showing off with the perception filter.  Interesting.  The members of Torchwood, plus their unexpected guest, filed out of the car.  What really interested Owen was how few questions Esther Drummond asked while they rode to the Hub.  Oh, there were questions she _wanted_ to ask.  A few glimpses at the girl told him that.  But every time he thought she might give into the desire to ask, she bit her lip and gave a small shake of her head.  Did she fear the reaction to her questions or did she fear the answers themselves?  _Or maybe_ , Owen thought, _she doesn’t think it’s the time or the place for these questions_.  That made more sense, because she seemed wary, rather than afraid.

They were greeted by Alice and Steven, as well as Myfanwy … and it was the last of the three which caused the greatest amount of consternation in the newcomer.  She breathed, “What … is … _that_?”  She stared up at the pternanodon, eyes wide with shock, and for the first time since they realized that Esther remembered everything, Owen saw Jack’s familiar grin.  And Owen would think about that particular revelation later.

Steven replied, a bit scornfully perhaps, “That’s Myfanwy … she’s a pternanodon.  Don’t you know _anything_?”  He yelped when his mother swatted his bum, and the boy protested, “But she is, Mum!  And she called Myfanwy an ‘ _it_ ,’ but she isn’t an ‘ _it_ ,’ she’s Myfanwy!”  The initially surprised expression on Esther’s face gave way to amusement, which surprised Owen.  The little boy continued, “That’s Myfanwy and she’s a pternanodon, and Uncle Jack and Ianto caught her together.”  Which was true, and Owen really did _not_ need that picture in his head.

“You’re absolutely right, and I do apologize … I just wasn’t expecting to see a pternanodon in the twenty-first century,” Esther replied.  Steven stared at her suspiciously, and the young woman continued, smiling at both the boy and his mother, “I’m Esther Drummond … your uncle Jack rescued me this morning.”  Alice returned the smile, shaking the hand which Esther extended to her, before Esther turned her attention to the boy.

“I’m Alice Carter, Jack’s … sister.  This is my son, Steven, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m guessing that you have children in your life?” Alice answered, falling back on the usual line that she was Jack’s sister.  Esther knew that Jack didn’t stay dead, but he didn’t think she was quite ready to hear that he had a grown daughter and a young grandson.  Actually, Owen wasn’t ready to find that out, either, but that was Joe Carter’s fault for being such a wanker.

“Two nieces … Alys and Melanie.  They’re my whole world,” Esther replied and Alice’s own smile brightened.  Owen glanced back toward his captain, who was watching his daughter and the newcomer with a small smile.  This, at the very least, bought them time.  Time to discuss what changes needed to be made in protocol (it never even occurred to Owen to plan for a new college graduate whose roommate was victimized by a date rape drug), and what to do, specifically, about Miss Esther Drummond.

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

She poured out the coffee … she tricked him into thinking that she drank it, and when she fainted into Jack’s arms … Well.  What a happy occurrence this was!  As soon as the door closed behind Jack, their captain said, “Okay, no recriminations, because this is a fluke, a one-off.  It didn’t occur to any of us that we might encounter a situation like this.  So, we don’t worry about why we didn’t think of it, we figure out how we respond the next time this happens.  But we do that after we decide what to do about the lovely young Miss Drummond.”

And just like that, the question of culpability was dismissed.  Ianto should have expected it, since Jack wasn’t interested in apologies or in mea culpas, just in getting a situation resolved.  Suzie observed, ticking off the possibilities on one finger, “I can think of a few options.  I think all of us agree that killing her would be counterproductive and thoroughly unnecessary.  Don’t look at me like that … we all know that it was an option.  Second possibility … we could try to Retcon her again.  Also counterproductive, because now that she knows what Retcon is, we’d have a hard time getting it into her system.  I suppose we _could_ chloroform her and then pour it down her throat, but again, counterproductive, to say nothing of entirely too much work.”

“Is there a point to this?” Owen asked, with no small amount of exasperation.  Suzie glowered at him, and Ianto and Tosh carefully, subtly angled themselves so that they weren’t in the line of fire when things between the two former lovers got heated up.  And Ianto knew for a fact that they would do just that.  Oh, Jack wouldn’t let things spin out of control, but it seemed that both Owen and Suzie settled down after tearing into each other … they were less likely to drag Ianto and Tosh into it, too.  Personally, Ianto thought they should just shag each other (again) and be done with it.  He wasn’t real interested in their personal lives, but if it was going to affect the rest of the team, he’d lock them into a closet together himself!

“Yes, Owen, there _is_ a point to this!  It has to be said, because like it or not, they _are_ options!  Why am I doing it?  Because I’m bloody sick of hearing people talk about what a heartless bastard Jack is when he does what needs to be done.  He isn’t heartless or cold-blooded, but I am!  If it meant protecting this base, or Jack, or the rest of you, I would rip out the Queen’s heart with me own hand!” Suzie retorted, eyes flashing.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the table, and still, Jack said nothing.  That was weird.  Usually, by now, their captain had something to say.  Toshiko said, her voice gentle but firm, “Those are options, but they aren’t ones we’re going to use.  She’s only going to be in the UK for, what, a week?  She’ll go home to the United States and live her life.  Not everyone we encounter will be a threat, Suzie.”  Ianto winced, seeing the expression in the second-in-command’s eyes.  He wasn’t the only one.

“There are a few other possibilities.  She’ll be making her way up through the United Kingdom.  I plan on calling Archie, and asking him to seek her out when she reaches Scotland.  If she can be trusted, we’ll know it then,” Jack replied, effectively putting an end to the debate.  Neither Suzie nor Owen looked satisfied, but they also didn’t argue with him.  Jack added, eyes flickering back and forth between the pair, “Now, if you two would like to continue this in private, I’d suggest getting a room somewhere.  Not that I wouldn’t enjoy watching, but I know Ianto has work to do as well.”

The Welshman flushed, even as he murmured under his breath, ‘ _not in front of the others, Jack_ ,’ Tosh looked amused, and both Suzie and Owen looked outraged by Jack’s final suggestion, as well as what that implied about their current relationship.  They did not, however, tell Jack that he was wrong.  If anything, Ianto caught the doctor and the second-in-command sneaking looks at each other.  The captain continued, “If Archie reports back to me in a positive way, Miss Drummond gets to keep her memories.  Just to be safe, once she’s stateside, I’ll have a few of my US contacts keeping an eye on her.” 

“There’s one final option that I didn’t mention.  You _could_ hire her, Jack,” Suzie observed.  There was a brief silence, and then the room descended into chaos as Owen once more began shouting.  Jack merely raised his eyebrows, his lips quirking into a smile that was a combination of amusement, exasperation, and bemusement.  Tosh merely looked thoughtful.  And Ianto?  Well, he was initially stunned by Suzie’s observation, but the more he thought about it … well, why not?  Jack’s whistle brought the room under control, and Suzie continued with a final glare for Owen, “We’ve talked about this before, Jack, about the possibility of hiring more people in support positions.  She didn’t drink something given to her by a strange man … no offense, Ianto … so we know that she’s smart and sensible.  Yes, she’s young, so she may not have a lot of common sense or good judgment, but that comes with experience.  That’s one thing, now here’s another.  She returned to the site where her friends died, where she almost died … so we know she has courage.  What she doesn’t know, we could teach her.”

Owen snorted, “And what could she give us?  Tosh is a genius, I’m a doctor, Ianto is … Ianto, you’ve got your own field of expertise, so what can she contribute?  I like the girl, don’t get me wrong … she’s got moxie and sense, and she’s easy on the eyes, but what can she contribute?  She’s got her Bachelor’s Degree in International Relations … what good is that with guarding the Rift and dealing with what comes through it?”  Ianto felt his eyebrows crawl up into his hairline at Owen’s question.

“I can think of a few things, Owen, and none of them have to do with anything between the sheets,” Jack answered mildly.  Owen glowered at him, Ianto rolled his eyes, and Jack continued, “Suzie raises some good points … and it’s a suggestion I’ll keep in mind, depending on what Archie tells me.  For now, I think some reports are due … Yan, Owen, I’ll let the two of you start with what’s happening at Flat Holm.”

“No changes, in terms of physical health.  Spent most of my time helping to figure out the best way to paint the rooms without making anyone sick from the fumes.  There might be someone who is starting to heal, in terms of mental health.  He may never be ‘whole,’ but I don’t think that’s possible for anyone who’s seen the things he has,” Owen offered.  He hesitated, and then observed, “As far as the girl is concerned, I could start researching a way for a patch for the Retcon, if we encounter someone else who’s had that kind of experience.”  Jack nodded, looking thoughtful.  He hadn’t wanted to tell Ianto, Owen, or Tosh about Flat Holm.

In the end, it was Suzie who triggered that particular conversation, shortly after Jasmine was taken by the Faeries.  Ianto swallowed hard, remembering how Jack told them, haltingly, about the condition of people who came back through the Rift.  Sometimes, they were … it was pretty horrific.  Three days after that, Suzie volunteered to take them to Flat Holm, on a day when the Rift was quiet and Jack had all-day conference calls with UNIT and the Crown.  It was something that Suzie and Jack discussed for a while, but the Faeries case was the final push.  Ianto wished it was Jack who took them there, because Suzie wasn’t inclined to cut anyone slack.  She was truly furious at their behavior during the Fae case, and she wanted them to understand the consequences for trying to prevent a Chosen One from going with the Faeries.  She forced Tosh to look at some of the people whom the Rift returned, hissing that was what they would have condemned Jasmine to.

Ianto wasn’t sure why she was so angry … if it had something to do with her near-fall, if almost betraying them and nearly turning into a monster made Suzie more protective, but she was a sight to behold that day.  She told him, as they left, shoulder to shoulder, that she wouldn’t let any of them hide from the consequences.  He hadn’t understood that day, and hadn’t understood why she said that to him.  That changed as he and Suzie knelt beside Jack’s dead body, when Abaddon was raised.  There were consequences for all actions and reactions:  if Jack hadn’t made the choice he did, there would have been consequences for them (as in, they all died) and there would have been consequences for Jasmine. 

He did ask, a bit timidly, why she asked him to come along.  She wanted to punish Owen and Tosh, that much he knew, but Ianto wasn’t as sure about how he was included.  Suzie was silent, her hand slipping into the crook of his elbow in a gesture that greatly surprised him.  She finally said, “Because I knew that I went too far, you’d stop me.  Oh, not the way Owen would or Tosh would or even Jack.  But you would have prevented me from going off the deep end.  I didn’t ask you to come so I could hurt you … I asked you to come to prevent _me_ from hurting those two.  I want them to learn from this, to understand that we can’t always save people, and that Jack doesn’t deserve our recriminations for being willing to get his hands dirty.  We don’t have to praise him, but we also don’t have to hurt him.” 

Betray him, was what she meant when she said ‘ _hurt him_.’  Suzie was being considerate of Ianto’s feelings, and he appreciated that, but it really wasn’t necessary.  He understood what she meant.  She smiled at him then, her eyes sad, as she observed, “You and I, we’ve learned some very painful lessons in the last few months.  We’ve fallen, so very far, and clawed our way back up again.  And even more shocking, Jack forgave us, but we’re still forgiving ourselves.  That makes us brother and sister, Ianto.  I used to want a little brother.”  He hesitantly asked about the ‘ _used to_ ,’ and Suzie answered softly, “I did, until I realized that another child would be hurt as I was.  And I couldn’t bear to think of that.”

He hugged her a little, not sure what to say.  No one in Torchwood talked about their families, although he knew that Tosh’s grandfather was still alive.  Ianto still had his sister, of course, and Jack had his daughter and grandson … something that still astonished his captain.  Ianto could see that in Jack’s eyes, the way he looked at Alice and Steven sometimes, as if he feared they would disappear suddenly.  The worst part was, eventually, they would.

“Ianto?” Jack prompted, drawing the young man back to the present.  He was aware of his captain’s eyes on him, and Jack continued, “Is there anything you want to add to Owen’s report?”  He shook his head.  He had plenty to share, but that could wait.  Jack continued, “All right … I’ll tell Miss Drummond her fate.  Everyone else, finish up whatever you have to do, and then head home.  It looks like it’ll be a quiet afternoon.  Just make sure that whenever you leave, you have your mobile turned on.”

The rest of the team filed out of the room, Suzie and Owen once more picking up their argument.  Tosh rolled her eyes and stalked out ahead of them, and Ianto bit back a smile.  He would dearly love to be a fly on the wall when Tosh finally had enough and let Owen have it both barrels.  For now, he asked Jack softly, “Are you really thinking about hiring her, Jack?  That’s not a judgment, it’s a question.” Jack shrugged, hand curving around Ianto’s shoulder as he pulled the door shut with his free hand.

“I don’t know … I’m not sure what she has to contribute.  I’m not even sure if Suzie was entirely serious when she made the suggestion,” he replied.  Ianto was pretty sure that she was serious at the time, but he had to wonder why as well.  What was Suzie seeing that he and Jack and the others were missing … or was she seeing anything at all?  Ianto shook his head mentally, because if there was one thing he learned about Suzie, it was that she had her own reasons for the things she came up with.  Jack offered him a mischievous smile, adding, “How is the clean-up of the Archives coming along?”

“All done,” Ianto replied with a dead-pan expression.  Jack’s face fell, just a little, and Ianto added, “However, I haven’t gotten to the greenhouse yet.”  The other man’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, and Ianto continued, his voice low in a way he knew Jack liked, “Shall we meet there in twenty-five minutes … sir?”  Jack’s eyes turned dark with desire as he closed the distance between them, hands coming up to frame Ianto’s face.  He’d never been attracted to any man, aside from Jack, and coming to terms with that truth was still difficult for him.  Being attracted to a man was bad enough, but with their history, with the way they hurt each other during Lisa’s final rampage … and yet, Jack never gave up on him.  Suzie warned him, a few days after that horror, that if he ever carried out his promise, she would put a bullet in his brain.  And then she hugged him fiercely, adding, ‘ _I don’t want to carry that out, Ianto.  Don’t make me do that to you_.’  At the time, it sounded like Suzie was being cruel; promising such mercy and then yanking it away, but now, Ianto understood exactly what she meant.  Maybe they really were brother and sister in terms of circumstances.

But the hands cradling his face and the warm breath against his skin drew his attention back to the present.  Jack responded in a husky, seductive voice, “That’s twenty-five minutes … and counting.”  Ianto smiled at the reminder of their first time together, just before Jack kissed him.  And then he wasn’t capable of thinking of anything at all. 

TBC


	3. A New Partner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here we have the conclusion of … And Roses Suit You So. I promised back in part one that I would explain the title. Normally, that would be contained within the story, but not this time. As a general rule, I don’t bring John Barrowman’s songs into my stories, because I don’t like doing what other people do. On rare occasions, I break that rule if the impetus is strong enough. Just a Perfect Friendship in my Worlds Apart series fell into that category. So does this one. While listening to I Won’t Send Roses, I kept hearing a conversation between Jack and Esther, in which he was trying to convince her not to become involved with Torchwood (and, by extension, him). Esther, however, was having none of that … she’s far stronger than she looks, and she knows her own mind … and thus, the title of the story. In this chapter, Jack tells Esther her fate; later, she encounters an odd little man in Scotland; and an offer is made. Oh, and yes … I do know that my attempts at writing a Scottish accent sucks rocks. But I had to at least try. Oh, and Esther’s re-entrance will likely be familiar.

He meant what he told Owen … there were quite a few roles Jack Harkness could see Esther Drummond fulfilling within Torchwood Cardiff, just from the information Tosh dug up for him. But this was not a kind place to work, as he knew from more than a century here, and while he had no doubt there was steel under the silk, Jack wanted Esther Drummond to remain unbroken. Still, he wasn’t about to dismiss his second-in-command’s suggestions … Suzie was seeing something, and as he learned with the glove, it paid to listen to her.  However, before he even considered hiring her, he had to know that he could trust her.

The young blonde was still talking with Alice, Steven looking a bit bored with the women’s conversation as he watched Myfanwy flying about the Hub.  Alice was telling her something about the divorce … Jack could tell that just from his daughter’s expression.  And Esther … she didn’t speak as she caught sight of him.  Instead, she turned and whispered something to Alice, causing his daughter to smile and squeeze her hand.  With her free hand, she ruffled Steven’s hair, ignoring the face he made, and turned to face Jack.  She said not a word as he approached, not a ‘ _what’s the verdict_ ’ or ‘ _what will you do with me_ ’ or even ‘ _please don’t kill me_.’  She simply stared at him, obviously nervous but not about to make the first move.

He already knew that she was brave … that was something he learned this morning.  Jack returned the stare levelly, before saying, “We’ve decided to trust you, with the few secrets about us that you’ve learned.  You’ll be allowed to leave, with your memories intact, but understand that I do have contacts in both the United States and the UK.”  He didn’t continue with that.  He didn’t think he needed to.  The girl’s face changed from obviously nervous to relief to resignation.  She nodded, her eyes never leaving his face.

“That’s more than fair, Captain Harkness.  And I swear to you now, on the lives of my nieces, that I won’t betray your trust.  I don’t want to put any lives at risk:  not mine, not your team’s, not yours, not your family’s,” she replied.  He smiled slightly … that’s what he was counting on.  Esther continued, exhaling slowly, “I’ll be in Cardiff for another day, then I’ll be heading up through England and up into Scotland.  Is there any way I can be informed when the funeral services for the others will be held?”

“Give me your email address, Esther, and I’ll email you directly when that information is released,” Alice replied unexpectedly.  She looked at Jack a bit guiltily, but he nodded with a small, approving smile.  Alice mouthed, ‘ _thank you_ ,’ which made his smile brighten further.  Alice continued, “If you can’t make it back for the services, let me know, and I’ll go in your place.”  Esther blinked and Alice continued, “You’ve had a lot thrown at you today, and you’ve not become a blithering mess.  This is the least I can do for you.”    

Esther immediately began searching for a pad of paper and pen, but Alice laughed softly and handed her something out of her pocket book.  Esther blushed, murmuring, “I suppose that’s what makes you a mommy, doesn’t it?”  Alice bobbed her head, grinning madly.  Esther laughed as well and scribbled something on the pad of paper provided.  Once all information was swapped, Esther turned to him, her chin lifting ever so slightly, and asked, “So, what happens now?”  A smile tugged at the corners of Jack’s mouth, but he didn’t give into the urge to grin at her.  She reminded him a bit of a kitten facing down a lion:  not truly fearless, but not willing to back down, either.  Jack filed that bit of information away for future reference … as in, while he was talking to Suzie about why she thought the girl would be a good fit with the rest of the team.

“What happens now is, I take you back to your hotel and you live your life.  From here on out, everything is up to you.  Just remember your promise to the others,” Jack answered.  She nodded slowly, looking thoughtful, and he added, “Let me know whenever you’re ready … or, if you’re ready, we can leave now.”  She nodded, giving Alice a quick hug and ruffling Steven’s hair (much to the little boy’s disgust), and followed him from the Hub into the parking garage.  The girl slid into the SUV, looking around with a thoughtful frown, and as he started the car, Jack asked, “Something you’d like to share?”

“Just … thinking.  It all seems so fantastic, you know?  An underground base for a top-secret agency that protects people from an alien threat, complete with a pterodactyl … I know, that isn’t what she really is, but still.  It all seems so fantastic, but it’s all real, and for just a few hours, I was part of something incredible.  And then, I think about the others, and I keep trying to work out why I survived.  I got another chance at life, and I will not waste it.  But there’s a part of me which wants to be part of something like this.  Maybe not Torchwood, but maybe there’s something in the States,” Esther replied.

“Why do you want to be part of this, or something like this?” Jack inquired as he headed toward Esther’s hotel.  He was just a little bit leery of people who told him that they wanted to join Torchwood.  People like that wanted the glitz and the glamour, and they didn’t tend to last very long.  Jack preferred not to waste his time (or Retcon) in training someone who was in it for the glory.  There was very little glory in Torchwood … Suzie, in one of her more miserable moments, cried out that most of what Earth got was the debris and crap of the universe.  There was a lot of that, but he reminded her of all the wonderful things that did come through.

Esther was silent for several moments, telling him that she was actually thinking about her answer.  At last, she replied, “I … I don’t think I ever grew out of my desire to save the world.  For the last few years, I’ve saved my little corner of the world … my sister and my nieces.  But this … I could protect my girls, from threats that they don’t even know about.  I was thinking about going into the Foreign Service or the CIA, but I don’t know if I could get a post near my sister.  I don’t want to leave the girls alone for too long.  That’s why I waited so long to make my next move.  I want to take care of my girls, but I also want to follow my dreams.”

She looked out the window before continuing, “One of my professors warned that the biggest mistake any new graduate could make was assume there was a job they’re too good for … even making coffee or making copies made a difference, because you would be freeing up the time of someone else.  I’m hoping that by the time I get to Scotland, I’ll have something figured out.  Meanwhile, I call in every night to check on the girls.” 

“You’ll work something out,” Jack told the young woman as he drew the SUV to a halt in front of her hotel.  That drew a surprised smile, and he continued, “You found that tunnel again, when you’d only been there once … I have a feeling that there’s very little you can’t do, when you set your mind to it, Esther Drummond.”  Her smile turned into a delighted grin and she leaned over to kiss his cheek, before bounding out of the SUV with her pack.  She offered him one last smile, before trotting off.  Jack shook his head, smiling faintly, and drew away from the kerb.  He still needed to have a conversation with his second-in-command.  But first, he needed to call Archie.

  

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

It was anti-climactic, really.  After Jack … after Captain Harkness dropped her off at her hotel, it was as if nothing really happened.  She would be checking out the following day, and then heading back up into England, and then on up into Scotland.  It was just … it was too normal, down to the email exchange she did with Alice.  Esther didn’t miss the look that passed between the brother and sister … the almost guilty look that Alice wore, which was replaced with gratitude.  She saw it.  She just didn’t know what it meant … and really, she was a little afraid to find out.  No.  No, she would await Alice’s email as she made her way up through Great Britain, and she would try to forget the woman’s gorgeous brother.  He was gorgeous and taken and dangerous, and thinking about him further would just be asking for trouble.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy to forget Captain Jack Harkness, on any level.  More to the point, she was having a terrible time getting him out of her mind … including the smile he wore as she kissed his cheek that afternoon.  She remembered them all:  Jack … his sister and nephew … Suzie … Toshiko … Ianto … Owen.  Esther was, however, mindful of her promise to the man.  She meant to keep that promise.  Alice mentioned that her brother had contacts all over the world, including some powerful people in the US.  Esther appreciated the warning, which is what it was, but was determined to keep her mouth shut. 

So, she returned to Cardiff long enough for the funerals of her friends, and then focused on deciding what to do when she returned to the States.  Despite what she told Jack, Esther really didn’t think she had a place at Torchwood.  There was no place _for_ her … not when it, not when he, already had Suzie, Ianto, Tosh and Owen.  What could she do?  She studied International Relations and while that was fine for earth-bound species, there wasn’t much she could to assist with Weevils.  Until a week earlier, she didn’t even know the damn things existed!

She was sitting in a pub in Edinburgh, writing down what she’d seen and experienced, when a strange man slipped easily in the seat opposite hers, and observed, “Ye must be Esther Drummond, then.  I heard that ye were a bonny lass, but ‘bonny’ is somethin’ of an understatement.”  Esther looked up, frowning, and stared at the newcomer.  He was in his late sixties or early seventies … with twinkling eyes.  Okay.  Who was this, then?  He added with a sly smile, “Ye can call me ‘Archie.’  I heard that ye saw some strange things in Cardiff.”

Esther closed her journal gently, trying to ignore the way her heart was racing.  Cardiff.  She racked her brain, trying desperately to remember if she told anyone in Edinburgh that she was even in Cardiff.  No. No, she hadn’t said anything to anyone.  Esther offered a strained smile, answering, “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about, and I need to get back to my hotel room.  It’s time for me to call my sister and nieces.  Thank you for joining me, though.”  She offered a second, apologetic smile before heading to pay her tab.

That was quickly accomplished, and she headed out of the pub, striding back toward the hotel.  Esther was positive that she hadn’t said anything to anyone about Cardiff, about even being in Cardiff.  The last time she mentioned her time in the Welsh city was the night she arrived, when she told Sarah where she was … and that was before she met Captain Jack Harkness.  No.  No, she was sure that she hadn’t said anything that might have been a betrayal of Jack’s trust in her.  But someone found out, and she had to find out why … and, more to the point, how.

“Lass, I’m not tryin’ to frighten ye,” a now-familiar voice said from the alley she was passing, and Esther froze.  She turned slowly to face Archie, who smiled gently and repeated, “I’m not tryin’ to frighten ye at all.  Ye see, Jack is a friend of mine, and he asked me to watch over ye.  In part to make sure ye were honoring yuir word, but also to make sure ye were safe.  M’ name is Archie, like I said, and I’m with Torchwood as well.”  Esther swallowed hard and Archie offered his arm to her, murmuring, “Come along, lass.  I’ve been watchin’ ye, and I like what I see.”

“How do I know that you … that you’re telling the truth?” Esther asked.  She should have thought of that sooner.  Yes, he knew Jack’s name, but how did she know that he wasn’t someone who wanted to hurt Jack and his team?  Archie offered her a mildly exasperated, but almost fond, look.  Esther, however, stayed firm.  She didn’t know Archie, she had no reason to trust him, and until he gave her a reason, she wasn’t going anywhere with him!

“Ye _are_ a stubborn lass.  Should have realized that when Jack told me about ye refusin’ to drink the coffee.  All right, then.  Ye met Captain Jack Harkness about a week ago, after the rest of yuir urban explorin’ team was killed by Weevils … he died protectin’ ye and ye dropped his head and shoulders when he came back to life,” Archie replied in a low voice.  Esther blushed hotly at the memory.  Not exactly her most shining moment, and she had a feeling she would never live this down.  Archie smiled at her kindly, adding, “No need to be embarrassed … I know many a person who would like to bounce Jack’s head off somethin’ hard.”

That surprised a giggle out of her, and he continued, “Come along, then, m’gel … I’d love to hear all about the urban explorin’ ye’ve done in Edinburgh.  And then, we’ll talk about what ye can do for Torchwood.”  Esther raised her eyebrows at that.  What on earth could she do for a secret organization that protected Earth from aliens … and protected aliens from humanity?  Archie smiled at her broadly, saying, “Och, I think ye have more to contribute than ye think.  Come along now.”

Feeling more than a little dazed by the conversation, Esther accepted Archie’s arm (and she still didn’t know his last name, but that was the least confusing aspect of the entire situation).  As they walked, she told him about her recent explorations, especially in Edinburgh.  She was particularly fascinated with the underground bridge and the vaults under the city … although Mary King’s Close, the actual underground city, was just as fascinating.  Archie threw in some of the stories he heard about the legends surrounding that particular bridge.  She observed, “See, that’s why I love urban exploring … one of the reasons, at least.  Some of these stories, I’ve never heard.  And these aren’t the things I learned in school.”

“Only one of the reasons?” Archie inquired with an impish grin and Esther gave a small shrug.  Of course … most of the things she enjoyed doing, there were more than one reason for her enjoyment.  Archie continued, “What other things about doin’ the urban exploration appeals to ye, Esther Drummond?”  Esther thought about the places she’d been over the years, and what they all had in common.  There was the taste of the forbidden, of being where she wasn’t necessarily supposed to be, but Esther questioned whether she would still want to go to those places if they weren’t forbidden.  And the answer was ‘ _yes_.’

At last, she replied, “Because these are places that have been abandoned, for a variety of reasons.  Once, each of these had people and caretakers and a purpose.  One of the first places I went was the old hospital on Angel Island, in the San Francisco Bay.  Oh, I didn’t go inside it … I love to explore, but I’m not going to risk my life or someone else’s.  I visited the ruins and the grounds and when I closed my eyes, I could almost see wounded soldiers, limping along the paths.  And that’s when I understood that real people lived in these places … they lived, they worked, they died, and now they were forgotten, and I _hated_ that.  They deserve to be remembered, and these buildings deserve to be remembered as well.”

“Like yuir friends, the ones who died?” Archie asked gently and Esther nodded, tears burning at her eyes.  Yes.  Exactly like them.  No one except her (and Torchwood) would ever know the truth about how they died, but that was enough.  She would know, and that was enough.  The pair was silent, as Esther struggled to get her emotions under control.  At last, Archie murmured, “Ye know, it was Suzie’s suggestion that Jack hire ye as a member of Torchwood.”  Esther stopped dead in her tracks, staring at the man in open-mouthed shock.

“But _why_?  What can I _possibly_ offer them?” she blurted out.  Archie smiled at her fondly, and Esther added, “Besides, I can’t move to Cardiff.  My sister and nieces need me back in the States.”  That was still troubling her … how did she follow her dreams and take care of Alys and Melanie?  Every time she talked to Sarah, Esther’s worry for the girls ratcheted up a few more notches.  She wasn’t sure if Sarah would ever hurt the girls … she didn’t want to believe that was the case, but … Esther felt uncomfortable being away from them.

Archie responded, “Oh, I think Jack can surprise ye.  He knows more than ye think about havin’ a child far away.”  Esther tilted her head to one side questioningly, and Archie asked, his voice achingly gentle, “I know ye know about Jack’s inability to stay dead … but have ye ever thought about how long he’s lived?”  No, that was actually something Esther was trying to avoid thinking about, because quite frankly, Jack scared her enough as it is.  She looked at her current companion, who whispered, “I call him ‘laddie,’ but the truth is, he’s _far_ older than I am.”

Esther’s mind returned to that exchange between Jack and Alice, when she looked at him, her expression at first guilty and then grateful.  The pieces slid into place, and she looked at Archie in shock.  It couldn’t be?  Could it?  The pieces all made sense, and she tried to put herself in that position, but failed miserably.  And it seemed it didn’t matter, for Archie beamed at her, saying, “I think ye’ll find, m’gel, that Jack has contacts who can keep an eye on yuir wee ones.  Ye asked before what ye have to offer Torchwood, and the answer is easy … yuirself.” 

Herself?  Archie changed tactics, asking, “If ye could, would ye save yuir friends, the other explorers?”  Well, of course she would!  But … ?  Archie continued, “Ye bring new experiences to the table, lass.  Ye have kept current with urban explorin.’ For instance, if ye knew there were those beasties in the tunnels, what would ye have done?  Come up with a way to warn yuir friends, of course.  And refusin’ to drink the coffee?  That’s forced young Owen to change tactics.  Don’t underestimate what ye have to offer, Esther Catriona.”

“I’m not sure if I want to know how you know my middle name,” Esther observed dryly and Archie roared with laughter.  She hugged his arm with a small smile, saying softly, “I’m so tempted.  You have no idea how tempted I am.  I can’t get Jack out of my mind.  I’ve never met anyone like him in my life and I don’t think I ever will again.  And the others, they’re incredible, too.  But, then there’s the matter of an American working in the UK.  Oh.  Let me guess.  Torchwood can handle all that for me.”

Archie stopped, put his hands on her shoulders and said seriously, “There’s somethin’ ye need to understand, lassie.  Torchwood is beyond the police and above the government.  The ultimate head of Torchwood is Her Majesty, and she’s always had something of a soft spot for Jack, to be quite honest with ye.   Jack can make all of those arrangements … so could I, come to that.  But I understand yuir worries.  So.  I’ll make a deal with ye.  Extend yuir time in the UK.  Work for me for three weeks … if I don’t convince ye within those three weeks that ye have something to offer Torchwood, then ye can go home to the States.  But if I do …”

Esther grinned at him, answering, “If you do, then I’ll pester Captain Jack Harkness into giving me a job in Cardiff.  All right then … you have a deal.  Three weeks, it is … and if I pass my tests and yours, I expect a glowing recommendation from you!”  Archie roared with laughter and offered his arm to her once more.  And, since they passed her hotel several moments earlier, he offered to show her around the city.  How could she pass up an offer like that?  Torchwood, she realized ruefully, was extremely good at making offers you couldn’t refuse.

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

 

Cardiff, Wales

Four weeks later

 

 Ianto Jones was manning the Information Centre, re-stocking brochures when the door opened and the pizza ordered by lunch by Owen arrived (and wouldn’t that end in disaster?  There was a very good reason Ianto took care of ordering lunch).  His blood ran cold when a cheerful, young feminine voice announced, “Pizza for Torchwood!”  Ianto was preparing to return to the desk to alert Jack that they had a potential issue, when a familiar, pretty face ducked around the side of the pizza boxes … a familiar, pretty face which was currently decorated with a broad, cheeky grin.  And Ianto found himself smiling in spite of himself.

 “Well, then,” he replied, shooing her toward the door, “you best get it downstairs.  They aren’t entirely patient when it comes to their food … any of them.”  That cheeky grin broadened further, and she ducked under his arm.  Ianto glanced at the time … it was close enough to closing time.  He changed the sign to ‘ _closed_ ,’ and then hurried after their unexpected guest.  In part because it was easy to get lost, using this entrance … but also because Ianto wanted to see the expressions of the others when they saw who was back.  It was a source of much debate (cough, cough) between Suzie and Owen what she would do.  He caught up with her quickly … he knew the Hub far better than she did, after all … and asked, “So, what brings you back to our hallowed Hub?”  She laughed aloud, brown eyes twinkling.  In truth, she reminded him of a little girl with a secret and that was enough to intrigue him even more.  Right now, it was looking as if Suzie called it … but he would wait and see. 

 “Wait until I actually deliver the pizza, and then I’ll tell everyone at once.  I repeat myself enough when I’m with my sister and the girls … I don’t want to do it here.  It’s really great to see you again, Ianto,” she replied.  The young man raised his eyebrows, a little startled by this comment, but he smiled at her nonetheless.  That was rather … unexpected.  On the other hand, that seemed par for the course with this individual … she’d been turning their policies and protocols upside down from the first time they met her.  She murmured, “I can’t wait to see the others.  I promise, Ianto, I’ll tell everyone everything, including why I’m back and where I’ve been.”  She sniffed at the pizza appreciatively, adding, “That smells really good … think there’s enough for me, as well?”

 “I don’t see why not … we usually have leftovers.  In fact, to avoid that, I insist you have some,” Ianto replied lightly and was rewarded with a bright smile.  He called as they entered the Hub, “Lunch is here!”  He winked at his companion, who cleared her throat.  That drew the attention of Tosh and Owen, whose mouths dropped open at the sight of their visitor.  Suzie looked up from whatever she was working on, and actually beamed at the younger woman.  Ianto touched her shoulder, murmuring, “I’ll go get Jack.”  Her smile turned downright evil, and the young man bit back a snicker.  This would get _very_ interesting.

 “Yes, tell Jack that lunch is here and we’re setting up in the conference room,” Suzie commented, smirking.  Ianto shuddered.  He knew that smile.  That smile was generally very dangerous to someone.  Ordinarily, he wouldn’t care, but the clean-up sometimes got interesting.  Suzie added, “Not to worry, Ianto, I won’t do anything … messy.”  That didn’t ease his mind at all … on the other hand, that might be fun later.  He grinned back at her, before heading to Jack’s office to retrieve the other man.  Ianto had a feeling that Jack would appreciate the interruption.  He found Jack muttering under his breath in a language Ianto didn’t recognize and had the sense that he didn’t want to know what the captain was saying. 

 He cleared his throat gently and when Jack raised his head, looking exhausted, Ianto informed him, “Lunch has arrived, sir, we’re eating in the conference room.”  Jack looked surprised, but rose from his desk, wincing a little.  He rubbed at a spot in the small of his back.  Ahh.  Jack was even more in need of a break than Ianto thought.  Whatever he was doing, he shunned all offers of help from Ianto, Tosh, and Suzie … which made Ianto very, very curious indeed.  His captain hated paperwork with a white-hot passion and generally accepted offers to help him with it.  Very, very interesting indeed.  Ianto murmured, “If you like, I’ll give you a massage later.” 

 Jack responded with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he answered in an equally soft voice, “That would be very welcome, Ianto.  I was beginning to think I was taking root there.”  Ianto raised an eyebrow at the mental image that conjured up, and Jack’s smile was a little more genuine as he added, “But don’t go getting any ideas.  Just think of the all-around mess you’d be cleaning up if you did that.”  The Welshman couldn’t argue with that, grimacing as his imagination provided him with rather graphic images of what could go wrong with that particular prank.  The two men fell into an easy banter on the way to the conference room where, Ianto was pleased to see, everything was set up.  Suzie grinned at him and mouthed, ‘ _she found everything herself_.’  Ianto blinked in astonishment, but he would consider that later.  Jack froze, seeing the unfamiliar figure from behind, and murmured, “Ianto …”

 However, their guest turned around and beamed at Jack, saying, “Good afternoon, Captain Harkness.  I hope you don’t mind, but I paid for the pizza and brought it the rest of the way.”  Suzie erupted with laughter, and Esther Drummond continued with an impish grin, “Archie told me that you liked people with initiative, intelligence, imagination … oh, and moxie.  I figured this would fulfill most of the requirements.”  Jack’s lips twitched as she added, “Oh, and you owe me for the pizza … I paid for it with my own money.”  Tosh burst out laughing, setting Suzie off once more, and Esther added with a grin, “Hey, I worked hard for every penny.”

 “Archie told you that?” Jack asked, his tone neutral and expression bland.  Esther nodded, turning her attention back to him, and Jack continued, neither tone nor expression changing at all, “That’s where you’ve been … not just England and Scotland, but with Archie and Torchwood Two?”  Once more, she nodded, her own face settling into a mask, and Jack nudged Ianto toward a seat.  He wanted to remain at Jack’s side, he wanted to remain standing, but he recognized that right now, this was between Jack and Esther.  She offered him a gentle smile before returning her attention to Jack, as if recognizing what he was doing.  Their captain went on, “So, you’ve returned … because you want a job?”

 “That’s right.  I have a lot to offer Torchwood … I have a lot to offer Torchwood Cardiff … and I have absolutely no problem with starting at the bottom.  Just don’t ask me to make coffee, because I usually end up burning it,” Esther replied.  Everyone laughed and she added, shrugging a little, “I’m going to guess, based on that reaction, that I won’t have to worry about that.  Good.  I would hate to accidently poison you.  And I don’t think I’ll need to worry about doing windows, either.  Anything else is fair game.”

 “Really?  So, if Ianto asked you to help him clean out the Weevil cells or help feed Myfanwy, you’d have no trouble doing it?” Jack challenged.  Esther blanched a little, but to her credit, nodded firmly.  Not so surprisingly, their captain looked amused and he continued, “Really?  You’d have no trouble with dealing with the muck and guck, you’d enjoy that kind of thing?”  Esther folded her arms over her chest, and Ianto was glad he grabbed a seat where he could see her face clearly.  Her expression could be best described as ‘mulish.’  This … could get interesting.  Something nudged at his fingers and Ianto looked down to find a note Suzie passed to him.  He grinned at the message there, ‘ _do you want to get the popcorn, or should I_?’

 He mouthed over at his teammate, ‘ _wait_.’  She responded with a mock-pout, but returned her attention to the floor show.  Esther answered quietly, “I didn’t say I would enjoy it, Captain, I said that I would do it.  Of course I wouldn’t enjoy it, but it needs to be done … and we all have things in our jobs that we don’t enjoy.  That would be true regardless of what kind of job I did.  Now, I may wear a cloth mask to filter out the smell, but I would do it.”  There was quiet steel in her voice, and Ianto wrote on the note at his fingertips, ‘popcorn after pizza?’  He pushed it back over to Suzie and found it returned immediately with one word, ‘ _deal_.’

 “Okay.  I can accept that … but what can you offer us, that we don’t already have?” Jack inquired.  He waved to the room at large, saying, “I have Suzie, my second in command and weapons mistress.  I have Tosh, my technical genius … Owen is our doctor … and Ianto is our admin/office manager.  And they’re all field agents.  Where do you fit in?”  Again, Esther refused to back down and for the first time, Ianto thought about what that meant, when Jack said that she’d been with Torchwood Two and Archie.  She’d actually been working for the Scottish branch of Torchwood during the last few weeks.  And Ianto felt his lips curve upward.  Archie only told Jack that he was keeping an eye on Esther … he said nothing about the American woman working for him.  He wished he could be a fly on the wall in Jack’s office when the two directors spoke.  That could get very, _very_ interesting.  But the current floor show was every bit as interesting.

 “Well, for one thing, have you figured out a way to Retcon someone without slipping it into their drink?  I may be the exception, but I highly doubt it.  I may have been the first, but I really don’t think I’ll be the last.  I’m willing to bet there are other people who won’t accept drinks from people they don’t know … and those people may have more subtle ways of getting rid of that drink than I did.  The only reason I was able to pour it out was because you were dead, and Ianto and Owen were occupied with … with the bodies.  For another, have you given any thought to how you’ll prevent more urban explorers from wandering in those tunnels and getting themselves killed?  I have.  I have the resources and I’m working on a story that will prevent more deaths from occurring,” Esther replied.  By now, Tosh was catching onto the by-play between Ianto and Suzie, and she mouthed, ‘what are you doing?’

Ianto mouthed back, ‘ _wait … just wait_.’  She nodded and Ianto quietly gave thanks that she was more patient than Owen.  Jack, for his own part, was ignoring the rest of his team.  Instead, he was focusing on Esther.  He nodded slowly, “All fair points.  But there will be more unpleasant things than simply cleaning out cells and dealing with a pternanodon.  There will times when I, when we, have to make choices.  You may be called upon to end the life of an otherwise innocent person whose only mistake was being in the wrong place at the wrong time … but their existence poses a threat to the entire world.  Or, it could be a child, maybe even someone who reminds you of one of your nieces.  Or, even if you don’t, then one of us will have to.  Can you handle that?  Can you handle looking at someone and knowing that they had to condemn a child to death, even though the only other option was to destroy the world?”

 Ianto’s breath caught in his throat, while both Owen and Tosh blanched.  Suzie nodded slowly, looking troubled.  Esther hesitated for the first time, before replying, “I can’t say for sure what I’ll do, Captain.  Archie and I … he had to get his hands dirty, metaphorically speaking, while I was there.  It hurt … it hurt us both, but I knew that there was no other option.  I may cry … I may throw things at inanimate objects … I may even get painfully quiet.  But unless the child that has to be sacrificed to save us all is my niece, I won’t hate you … or the others … for it.  I can’t promise anything more than that.”

 “It would be unlikely that your nieces would be the one sacrificed, Esther.  The Chosen Ones only tend to go if there’s nothing left to keep them here.  Your nieces have you.  But that brings up another point that Jack hasn’t raised yet.  What will you do about your nieces and your sister, living in Cardiff?” Suzie asked quietly.  Ianto glanced at the woman, who was nodding slowly in acceptance of her answer.  Ianto wasn’t sure if her answer was the one that Jack was looking for; but it was an honest answer, which made it the right answer.  They needed to know this, and she needed to know what was ahead of them.

 Esther took a deep breath and released it, answering, “I’ve been thinking a lot about that.  In the past, it’s been necessary for me to call Social Services on Sarah.  It isn’t that she doesn’t love the girls, she’s just …” She shook her head mutely.  Suzie put her hand over Tosh’s, preventing the techie from going to the young woman and comforting her.  After a moment, Esther continued, “If I were taking a simple job in Cardiff, I would request custody of the girls.  But this isn’t a simple job and I run the risk of leaving the girls alone.  So … I’m going to follow Archie’s suggestion, and ask what you think I should do about them.”

  _Oh_.  Oh, Ianto wasn’t expecting _that_.  Neither was Jack, whose eyes widened at the question.  Suzie grinned brilliantly, Owen’s mouth dropped open, while Tosh just sat back in her seat.  After a moment, Jack replied slowly, “I have some contacts in the States … including an old friend who owes me big time.  Let me make some calls … if it becomes necessary for your girls to go into Social Services again, I may have a solution.  No promises, mind … but I do have some ideas.”  Esther nodded, regaining her composure, and Jack continued, “All right.  All right, you’re on a three-month probationary period while you show me what you’ve got.  If, at the end of those three months it doesn’t work, we’ll figure out what to do next.  You might actually want the Retcon at that point.”  Esther hesitated, and then nodded firmly.  Jack smiled then, offering the blonde girl his hand, and said, “Welcome to the team, Esther Drummond.”

 “Good!  That’s done, and we’ve got an assistant tea-girl.  Now maybe we can eat … OI!” Owen blurted out as both Tosh and Suzie threw balled-up napkins at him.  Not to be out-done, Esther crinkled up a piece of paper in her pocket and threw it at him as well.  Owen sputtered and Esther snickered, eyes dancing merrily.  The doctor glowered at her as he picked up the ball of paper she threw at him, saying, “Tea-boy, I think this is yours … she threw the bloody receipt for the pizza at me!”  Chuckling, Ianto retrieved the receipt for the expenditures.

 “It could have been worse, Dr. Harper … I could have dumped pizza in your lap.  I’ve done that before, too,” was the sweet reply, and one that set both Tosh and Suzie to giggling once more.  Jack grinned as he guided Esther to the table, and the young woman added, “Oh, I guess that’s ‘Owen’ now, isn’t it?  Ianto, is everything all right?”  This was said as Ianto rose to his feet and went to the cupboard.  He smiled to himself, hearing the concern in her voice.  They would need to work out the various duties Esther would assume, and Ianto would handle her in-house training while Jack handled her field training.

 “Everything’s fine, Esther.  Ianto’s merely going for the popcorn … something we decided upon while Jack was interviewing you,” Suzie replied with a grin.  Esther was in the process of picking up a piece of pizza when she stopped and stared at Suzie in shock.  The room was silent for several moments, as she ran through what just happened in her mind … and came to the irrefutable conclusion that Suzie was one hundred percent right.  She blushed, ducked her head in embarrassment, and then began to laugh.

 “That’s got to be the weirdest job interview I’ve ever done … and these are not the clothes I interview in, but Torchwood isn’t exactly the average job, is it?” Esther asked ruefully as she transferred the piece of pizza onto her plate before sitting down.  No, it wasn’t the average job.  Things began to settle down then, with the team asking their newest member about her travels across the UK and what she’d seen during her explorations.  When Ianto wasn’t eating, he was using his PDA to get things into motion that would allow Esther to officially work in the UK … oh, and pay her back for the pizza.  She may have been joking about that, but Ianto wasn’t.

 Little by little, everyone drifted back to work … and that was when Ianto got his first surprise.  As he began cleaning up the table, Esther put the pizza boxes on the counter and began looking around for something.  Ianto asked when he noticed what she was doing, “Esther?  What do you need?”  She didn’t answer at first … and when she did, it wasn’t verbally.  Instead, she held up a baggie with the same sort of triumph one held up a trophy.  Ianto asked slowly, “What, exactly, do you mean to do with that?”

 “We have a lot of pizza left, I was figuring on putting the leftovers into bags and sending the bags home with everyone.  Why?  How do you normally do it?” Esther asked, looking from the pizza to Ianto and back again.  Normally, the pizza boxes were shoved into the icebox … where they stayed until someone decided to eat them.  However, Alice was bringing more and more ‘real’ food to the Hub when she had the opportunity, and …  Ianto smiled and turned his attention back to Esther, who was looking uncertain for the first time since she arrived with the pizza boxes, nearly an hour earlier.

 “Never mind how we normally do it … I like your idea better.  You bag them, I’ll label them.  Once we’re finished with that, I’ll finish emptying the bins and you can put the pizza on everyone’s desks … tomorrow I’ll show you where the garbage goes,” Ianto answered.  Esther nodded and the pair fell into a rhythm as they worked.  Actually, half the reason why Ianto was agreeing to her idea was to annoy Owen.  More to the point, he was anticipating Owen’s reaction the next time he went looking for leftover pizza and found none. 

 “I’m glad it was just the two of us doing this.  I wanted to talk to you,” Esther observed quietly.  Ianto raised a brow and the young woman continued, “I know that you take care of everyone, and that’s going to be part of my job.  But you have another task … I realized it on my own, and Archie confirmed it.  You also look after Jack … usually when he’s not looking, because he doesn’t think he should need people to take care of him.  But he does.  If you need me to pick up an extra task when he needs you most … just let me know and show me how to do it.  And when I can, I’ll take care of you, too.”

 Ianto very carefully put down the bag he was labeling and turned to face Esther.  She was looking at him with an earnest expression.  He smiled at her gently, took her hands and said softly, “So we’ll be partners, will we?”  She thought about that and then nodded.  Ianto continued, “Your help will be welcomed … but only under the condition that you allow me to take care of you as well.”  She thought about that a minute (as he knew she’d have to … people who took care of others didn’t find it easy to be taken care of), and then she nodded. 

 “Deal … we’re partners now,” she replied as they shook on it.  An impish smile lit her face as she added gleefully, “He has no idea what he’s just unleashed on himself, does he?”  Ianto shook his head very slowly.  No … but Ianto did, and he would welcome Esther’s help.  When Ianto couldn’t take care of Jack, for whatever reason, Esther could … and he probably would never even notice.  This … would be fun.

 

 

 

 

The Beginning


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